Entries about the end

I have a bed, a room, a car, and responsibilities to attend to. So I guess I live here now!

Everything is the same, yet all is different. Coming to live again in the house we got when the family first arrived in the city, was not exactly as expected. It is not the place it was then. No more bougainvilleas hang from the side, I was surprised to be greeted by tall bamboo bush out front, and the once little lime tree sapling now bears its fruit proudly. It's been about twelve years since that first time, and over three years since I last lived here. No, being here didn't nearly feel so much like stepping into the past as I thought it would.

Coming back, stopping, settling down (for however long) is also a part of the journey, just as the planning phase is too.
Time is different on the road and off it. The feeling of urgency, I have found, is very different to what you find in daily city life. When travelling I knew not the feeling of hurry. Except for the occasional train departure or date of arrival, I could take my time for anything. Writing, drawing or drinking coffee, I spent as long as I wanted or required. Nevertheless, everything had a strong sense of immediacy. A constant "now or never" aura surrounded each action, every castle visit or kiss. The things left for later were forgotten. The museums left for some other time will have to wait for another trip, if ever. It is a life in every breath kind of existence.
City life, however, feels the other way around. It takes so long to get from one place to another, and there are so many things to do, that life passes in a constant state of hurry. Not even the best of books will make time spent in traffic feel less wasted. And yet, not much gets done at a time. Nothing is immediate, but must be programmed days in advance, then confirmed the previous evening and probably that same morning too. If I want to see someone, we must arrange for a meeting during their lunch hour, or wait for the weekend, when they are "free". There is little room for improvisation, for the now.
Projects take long to come through, but then again, they can be done. While travelling, one cannot build. It felt like I was laying down a brick every time I learned someone's name, each time I stole a kiss or heart, or found the right place to spend my time. Yet a brick does not make a house, and when the storm arrives, one needs the shelter... I guess that's what made me come back to Mexico. In terms of country, I feel here as much a foreigner as anywhere else; but this is the place where I have spent more time building a foundation of friendship and love.

So I arrived, and spread the contents of my backpack on my old desk. Things from here and there, stuff that reminds me of certain people, places or moments. Coins, bills and postcards, even some things that stayed hidden inside the pack for months at a time, even the whole year.
I spread out my trip on the surface, organized it, put it away, then started this new chapter of this journey...

I've been biking a lot this past few weeks. It might not be Rotterdam, but still you can bike in Mexico City. It's my way of dodging some of the traffic, and therefore the ire of the streets; the potholes are just part of the adventure. And it keeps me fit and alert. With the stress, altitude and smog, you kinda need it.
One reason I came back to the city faster, instead of my original plan of moving slowly up from Cancun to Mexico City (a good 2000km via Chiapas), was that my sister needed some help home. But now she's back in Barcelona, for good this time, leaving me in charge of house and cats. It is interesting sometimes to experience the other side too. To be the one that stays behind. But, for how long?

People tell me how finishing their studies felt like a big weight fell off their shoulders... I did not feel such a weight, but when analyzing the costs/benefits of it all, I decided to stay here a while and try to get it over with. So lets see how that goes!

See you later my Turkish brothers and Romanian lovers.
Good bye, my Bulgarian roadmates and Polish dreams.
I hope we'll meet again, Italians.
And I'm not forgetting you, Hungarians.
All of you I'll miss, even the Swiss.

See you soon, my Belgians; fare thee well, my Germans.
Au revoir, my dear French smiles.

I'm changing worlds tonight.

Faraway I'll leave you, half a world away I'll stand.
There was too many people, this time around,
that I couldn't see, that I left behind.

I wish I could have met you all.
But there was not enough time.
Instead the list grew longer,
of those with a place in my mind.

I thought this trip would last much more,
yet a mere a year later I'm flying back.

It won't be long before I leave again,
but I do not know where I'll go then.
This world is so big, so beautiful,
How can anyone just stay,
with Australia just a plane away?

So why don't you come for a visit?
But first, ask where I am.

Come, change your world for just a day,
plan it months in advance;
or follow a whim,
leave it all behind.

Travel the world!
Make me a dot on your map,
a scale on your journey,
let me walk by your side.

Unleash your feet, let them wander;
never hold yourself back.

You will find a home, wherever you go,
if you open your heart.
There will be some tough days, yes.
And some sleepless nights.

But the road will reward you,
if you give it the chance.

As for me, I will be
somewhere out there.
Its a big world, I tell you,
with too much to see.

See you soon, my dear friends;
the ones that I'm leaving,
and the ones I fly to!